In this post I will share about my first experience working with a man of color. It was truly an eye opening experience for us both.
I didn't really recognize the significance of this particular ceremony until we were four hours in and this man said to me, "You know, originally I was looking for a healer who was also a person of color, but for some reason when I saw your picture, I knew it was supposed to be you".
Backing up, let's start at the beginning.
I have facilitated Medicine Work with hundreds of people. It may or may not surprise you that in general, they are white people. I am a young caucasian woman, mostly Ukrainian and French, and certainly much younger than most people even want their healer to be. Let's also put aside the fact that I am not "indigenous" and therefore my abilities are not superior or even likely to be good. *Eye roll*.
In the 48 hours leading up to my one-on-one ceremonies, I generally do ancestral clearing and whatever other healing needs to take place in order for us to have a productive ceremony. I have no control over these occurrences, as they usually happen in my dreaming/semi-lucid state. They are not directed, they are just part of how medicine works through me. I speak with ancestors, clear what needs to move out, sometimes I see the person's memories or share their body aches so that I can correct them once they are on my table. In this particular case, the nights leading up were rougher than usual. I was waking up from violent nightmares and spirits whispering in my ear at night, startling me awake. The space was very dense and heavy, but I carried on with my clearing work because that's what I do. I didn't think much of it until we got started on the ceremony.
As soon as we started working with the Tobacco Medicine, my new friend was taken down by the energy and I was swimming in it. It was heavy, like the room was full of water and we were under it's weight for a period of almost two hours. We hadn't even gotten into the Psychedelic portion of the work yet! So there we sat, talking and clearing the things coming up. When it was beginning to improve and I was able to lay my hands on his body to work on the physical clearing, it was the first time I had ever felt slave energy. I felt all of the powerlessness and the ownership that he was carrying in his lower body. Under that however, I felt the sheer strength and perseverance that led this man's spirit through that experience. Under this ancestral trauma that was being carried, I felt one the the strongest and most beautiful masculine presences I have ever seen!
Once we got into the literal Mushroom Work, that is when the magic happened. Unlike many of my ceremonies, where a person does their deep dive and mostly stays in their own space, we spent 6 hours talking. We talked about race, trauma, slavery, sexual assault, religion, systematic issues, how our lives were different and how they were so similar. How we can share past lives as both white and black and how there is no difference at the core of us having this human experience. The only separation between us is the one that was imposed upon our great great grandparents many years ago. The energy of it still lingers and only through healing work can we clear that - just like we heal any trauma that is stored in the body or energy field. As these conversations unfolded, the reason for our work together became clear.
This man originally wanted to work with a healer of color because he *wanted* to talk to someone who understood his racial trauma. The beautiful thing is that what he *needed* was to talk to someone who didn't understand his racial trauma, he needed someone to witness it. He needed someone who didn't understand so he could share it, unburdened and unjudged. He needed this so he could heal and move forward with his life, no longer wishing to hold on to that trauma.
I am literally crying as a write this. It is so fucking beautiful. *sob*
This ceremony blew my mind. I have been calling in people who can act as a bridge to help me work with/provide healing to underserved communities, particularly those including people of color, because I am feeling that now is the time for us to fully integrate as humans. Now is the time for us to all reclaim our power because only in closing this divide between black and white can we rise.
And make no mistake, it is time for us to rise together...