I have been sitting on this second blog because, as you can imagine, the aftermath of what I described in Part 1 continues to stay with me as it integrates into my life and my being. The second half of my Northern Ireland story is more about the magic and medicine that came through around this trip. It's about the little things and "coincidences" that most people may write off. Instead, I choose to write about them to help others understand that this is the deeper magic, the one that permeates our lives.
It begins with Medicine.
My own Ceremony
A few days before I left for Ireland, I was very called to sit in my own Ceremony with the mushroom spirits. I assumed I would be having the formal Ceremony when I was in Ireland, but instead, I had the opportunity to sit before I left. A good friend of mine from Florida asked if I could hold space for her to sit in Ceremony and decided she would fly up to work with me. Little did we know, we were both going to be sitting that day. We held space for eachother and for ourselves - it was quite beautiful. This is not something I have ever done before. In this experience, I was given a profound gift. The plants showed me what Nadia's Medicine looked like. Not the Mushroom Medicine, or any of the other plants I work with. I was shown that when people come to work with me, regardless of what we are doing together, this is the power and Medicine that they are working with. This power was so big, so complex, and so life-changing. It was weird and ugly (not what I expected, but this is the only word I have haha) but it was ME! It scrubs people on a deep soul and cellular level. It re-arranges molecules that are jumbled or stuck. It extends through so many dimensions. It is a gentle creep that alters a person forever and extends through their lifetime here on earth.
What I took away from this Ceremony was that I can always partner with the mushrooms in collaboration, but to make no mistake, working with their Medicine is only a part of what I do. 99% of the magic that happens in my room is me. I was shown that through my relationship with the plants, and my devotion to this work, I have embodied and accepted quite a powerful level of Medicine that I carry with me every moment of my life. Now, as someone who struggles with "not good enough", this knocked me right off my feet.
During this experience, I was also shown in this Ceremony that it was time to cut the ties with my husband. That I needed to make space for something else to come in. "Make space" they kept telling me. This will come back around when I talk about my plane ride to Ireland.
Over the last several months I had also been feeling that the way I conduct Ceremony would also be changing. I am feeling the call to create a bigger, longer container. To hold each Ceremony with a deeper intention as the Shaman based on what is asking to come through for the collective. For example, I will have an extended Ceremony (4 days) in January that will involve calling in personal healing in 2024, working with Intentions and divination, and clearing out the wounding of the heart that prevents our ability to receive that which our heart truly desires. In this Ceremony, that feeling was confirmed and refined. I am to hold Ceremony with a specific goal, such as opening the heart, cultivating your gifts, learning to access the space without taking Medicine, etc. I am to hold containers that are months long, where we work with Shamanic training and Mystery School-style lessons. I am also feeling very strongly called to work more 1:1 with people using my skills in Internal Family Systems, Soul Retrieval, and Somatic Therapy.
This is an exciting shift I didn't think I was ready for.
They kept saying "You don't need another certification, you have all the tools, just decide to use them and create your own curriculum!"
So, in the spirit of making space.
On all four of my flights to and from Ireland, the seats next to me were empty. Now if you have flown recently, you know just how rare this is. So for this to happen four times in a row is insane. Much of my journey in NI when I arrived was about feeling a strong desire to have a partner to travel with me and processing the emotions around why I didn't cultivate that, or what was preventing me from making space for that. Now I truly love traveling alone, so this was also a little weird.
The Cat Emergency
Before my departure for this trip, our cat had been struggling with urination issues. We had done all the right things by changing his food, taking him to the vet for all the tests, and buying calming tools and medications. When I arrived in Ireland I encouraged Eric to take our little feline to the vet again because something didn't feel right. While he was there, he ended up going through 4 different major surgeries and spent almost two weeks in the hospital. There were compounded and bizarre issues that the vet had never seen before. He survived them all, and is good as new today, with the exception of now having a vagina-like situation instead of a penis. (Is this irony I wonder?)
Mr. Baggins is now worth more than my BMW. *Face Palm*
As this was occurring, I kept receiving visions and information about how he was moving energy on behalf of my family. That he was helping us wrap up the karma that was created between myself and my husband. That this huge karmic debt could now be paid off with money (tangible energy) because it was being closed/cashed out. Before this occurrence, it's worth noting that we *just* paid off all of our debt a month earlier.
Note taken, the karmic debt is cashed out. Don't accrue any more.
(If you are interested in talking about your own Karmic debt and Karmic cycles, please schedule an appointment with me here).
On every trip, I go through a Soul Retrieval whether I like it or not. I am never sure if this aspect that I uncovered is specifically mine, if it's collective, or if it is ancestral. Honestly, it doesn't really matter because all of these are the same but are also connected and separate. In this case, the Soul Part with dead. She was a sexual aspect that was beautiful, a bit kinky, and had a severed head. When her body was discovered, there was a room full of men including an aspect of myself, and everyone acted as if they didn't play a part in her death. I am still unpacking this one. I get the sense that this is more collective than most of the parts I work with, but it does also connect to me as well. There is something here about the degradation of women and the sexualization of them as well. That when they no longer serve the sexual purpose, they can be disposed of.
I think this was probably my favorite part of the trip. I took a day trip to a location of standing stones that were extremely hard to find. I found myself alone there for quite some time, trying hard to connect to the energy of the place. What were they used for? Was it magical? It was an aesthetically pleasing location, however, I just couldn't dive deep into the energy. I gave up trying and laid on one of the stones that had fallen, resigning to just enjoy the weather and the bleating sheep that surrounded me.
That's when the messages started flowing in!
"We know you like this human stuff, but you are not of the humans, please stop looking for answers there". I was shown my deep love for museums, antiques, ruins, and architecture. This love is fine, and it's fun, but I will not find the answers I seek here. I am from many places, but the one I am asked to focus on is my connection to the Giants. I am part Giant. I am shown the Medicine of the Giants as I sit here under the crisp blue sky. This energy is big Creation Medicine, almost like the energy of an entire mountain range. It is the Medicine that was used to create this 3D world initially, very primordial and complex. I am being asked to step more deeply into this and to own it. Giants came even before the Gods here on earth. They are not what we think they are. This is something I am only just starting to understand and access within myself, but man is it profound and I am excited to step more fully into it.
Giant energy is also about being able to see what is needed and creating it, calling it in, or becoming it in order to create balance or healing for Earth/humanity.
I am still grappling with the immense information contained in this message. It is definitely one of the reasons I will be heading to Peru in January. There are mountains there I need to work with and they are connected to the Giants.
The Medicine of Insanity
Like most things in your life, you can get a much clearer picture of a situation when you step away from it. This is one of my favorite things about traveling for more than two weeks at a time. It gives me the opportunity to pull back my energy from my life, my clients, and my family. Only then can I fully ground into myself and into my own energy, allowing me to assess what needs shifting or clearing around me. Once I do that, it makes space for things to come in that are more aligned.
Anyway, the theme of this new clear perspective in Ireland was the Medicine of Insanity.
I have experienced insanity twice. The first time, I accidentally went into the subconscious/dream space of one of my previous friends while sleeping next to her. That night I also learned that I cannot sleep next to someone unless I am fully prepared to go diving into their depths if that is needed or required. Still can't figure out how to control that yet haha. The second time was during COVID while I witnessed my child's school conduct quarantine and testing for students. They kept repeating the same line over and over again. Everyone looked like they were lost in little boxes with their eyes glazed over. But that's a topic for another day.
While I was away, I was able to see the way insanity plays a role in my relationship and understand the Medicine of Insanity. Insanity is when we are stuck in a place that seems like an impossible loop. Nothing makes sense. We lose sense of time. We feel a deep sense of suffering with no way to escape. We keep feeling like we must be crazy - it can't be this hard or make no sense.
Insanity is here to help us stand more firmly in our own power and discover who we are at our core. If you are feeling like you are stuck in a position like this, it's time to seek help cultivating the Self. It's a signpost that there is soul loss/power loss and you are getting swept up in the wind of a situation.
The most magical places in Northern Ireland were not the ones that were heavily advertised. They were county parks, pubs, random villages, unique little restaurants that had trails in the back, forests, and the occasional castle grounds. These places that people take the most pictures of? Not magical. Giant's Causeway was interesting, but the magical spot was on the cliff above it, not where the stones were. The Dark Hedges? Also not really magical, but the forests nearby were. This is not just unique to Ireland, many other places are like this as well. The best thing I did for myself on this trip was not plan anything that I would be doing. I waited until I arrived, settled into the land, spoke to my Airbnb host, and felt my way on a moment-by-moment basis through the whole thing. When I noticed myself trying to over plan or do something because "I should see this since I am here", I ended up feeling drained or exhausted. Well, except for the Game of Thrones Studio Tour - that was pretty cool haha.
This is where magic had the space to enter my experience.
Ok, I think that wraps it for my magical trip to Ireland For now. Travel really is one of my Medicines, one that I can work with to bring back healing for everyone I work with. It's such a cool gift that I am forever grateful for.
Thank you for reading and allowing me to share my experience! Stay tuned for Peru in January!